PLANNING AND PREPARATORY STUDY
MAZAL TOV!
Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a momentous
occasion! This ceremony marks your child’s coming of age
in the Jewish tradition and we are so pleased that your family will be
celebrating this milestone at The Jewish Center.
Mazal Tov from everyone at
The Jewish Center on the forthcoming B’nai Mitzvah celebration
in your family! This Handbook is designed to help you observe and
celebrate your upcoming simchah in a way that is joyous, meaningful,
and in keeping with our Jewish tradition and the customs of The Jewish
Center. Our Rabbis, Cantor, Administrative Director, Religious
School Principal, and B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator are always available
to address any additional questions or concerns you might have.
People to contact
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Introduction
Jewish tradition teaches that at thirteen
a child reaches the age of mitzvot. He or she takes on
the religious duties of an adult, performing specific commandments and
assuming the responsibilities prescribed by Jewish law (Halakha). In
our times, Jews recognize and celebrate this religious coming of age
in the synagogue in the presence of the congregation. During the Shabbat service,
the B’nai Mitzvah is called to the Torah to recite
the traditional blessings, read from the Torah, and chant a Haftarah. A Kiddush for
the congregation usually follows the service.
Thus, the B’nai Mitzvah celebration
is a joyous experience for the young person, family, and friends; also,
it is a rite of passage that is observed communally. Further, it
serves as an incentive for learning, which we hope will be ongoing in
the B’nai Mitzvah’s life as an adult Jew. We
urge you to remember that your child’s B’nai Mitzvah celebration
is, first and foremost, a religious event. Hence, there
are two important principles underlying all B’nai Mitzvah celebrations
at The Jewish Center:
- The religious service is the central element of the day. It
follows Jewish law and tradition.
- A B’nai Mitzvah observance is a congregational event. The
congregation is proud to witness as our children become adult participating
members of our community. The Jewish Center is pleased to welcome
your friends and relatives to our Shabbat service and to
have them join us in prayer, song, and celebration.
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Criteria
A child becoming a B’nai Mitzvah at The Jewish Center
must: 1) be born of a Jewish mother or have been traditionally converted
and 2) have attended and be currently attending an acceptable Jewish
education program, including The Jewish Center Religious School, Solomon
Schechter Day School of Raritan Valley, or the Abrams Hebrew Academy.
We expect students to complete four activities during the year preceding
the B’nai Mitzvah celebration:
- students and their parents should attend Shabbat morning
services regularly (see para. 7)
- students should perform ten hours of individual community service
(see para 8)
- develop a written D’var Torah—a two to three
minute long speech about the meaning of that week’s Torah or Haftarah portion
(see para. 9)
- use this special time to help less fortunate people in our community
by contributing tzedakah (see para. 10).
Families joining The Jewish
Center in the last few months before a child reaches B’nai Mitzvah
age should contact the B’nai Mitzvah coordinator to discuss options. If
you have any questions about this policy or need more information, please
call Rabbi Feldman.
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Assignment of Dates
The Jewish Center policy is to celebrate
the B’nai Mitzvah at a Shabbat service as soon
after the child’s thirteenth birthday on the Hebrew calendar as
possible. If family circumstances require a special date, the family
may request that date in writing to the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator
well in advance of the time of the assignment. However, it must
still be after the child’s thirteenth Hebrew birthday. We
try to honor such requests, although in a year when there are many candidates,
this may be difficult.
A meeting will be held approximately 2 to 2½ years
prior to your child’s B’nai Mitzvah at which time you will receive
details about the process as well as date selection forms with a return
date. You will receive a Date Acceptance form with your assigned date. No
date will be considered secure until that form has been completed and returned. Any
requested change to the date must be made in writing to the B’nai Mitzvah
Coordinator.
Before dates are assigned and before a B’nai Mitzvah celebration
can take place, all Jewish Center accounts must be current or alternative
arrangements must be made by calling the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator
at (609) 921-0100, ext. 208.
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The Religious School Connection
Preparation for the B’nai Mitzvah begins
years before the actual event. Children must be enrolled in Religious
School by Kitah Gimmel (Grade 3). Students will study
Hebrew reading, ritual, history, values, and prayer that will provide
them with a solid background of Jewish content. Students will learn
the Friday night service in Kitah Dalet and other appropriate t’fillot (prayers),
such as Anim Z’mirot and Ashrey. They
will also receive tutoring in the t’fillot in the Zayin year.
All students must attend a tropes (cantillation)
class, which teaches the melodies of the Torah and Haftarah portions. Children
will be assigned to tropes class approximately one year before their
event. Students who attend Jewish day school must also take the tropes
class. Students who have a morning service will learn Torah and Haftarah tropes,
and students having a Minchah (Saturday afternoon) service will learn Torah
tropes and the Minchah service.
Other Religious School requirements for B’nai
Mitzvah include regular attendance at our school and attendance at Shabbat
morning services. The requirement in the Religious School is a minimum
of 75% attendance in Gimmel, Dalet, Heh, Vav and Zayin. The Shabbat morning
requirement is:
- Gimmel – five times per year at Junior Congregation
- Dalet – six times per year at Junior Congregation
- Heh – seven times per year at Junior Congregation
- Vav – 10 times per year in the Main Sanctuary and
8 Vav family classes
- Zayin – 18 times per year at the Shabbat morning
class, followed by Services in the Main Sanctuary.
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B’nai Mitzvah tutoring
The Jewish Center’s B’nai
Mitzvah preparation program includes materials and tutoring, beginning
approximately seven months before the event, for which a special fee
is charged. The fee (at March 2007) is $875, subject to change. No
one is denied access to The Jewish Center for financial reasons. Simply
let us know, in strict confidence, if that is the problem. Send
a note in an envelope marked “Confidential” to the attention
of the Financial Secretary.
At the beginning of the tropes class each student
will receive the following:
- A CD of his/her Haftarah portion, Torah portion,
the trope melodies and blessings.
- A booklet containing the Haftarah text. A fee of $5
will be charged if this must be replaced. This fee will also
be charged if a B’nai Mitzvah date is changed at the
family’s request and the original booklet is not in condition
to be exchanged.
Due to the large number of B’nai
Mitzvah candidates, we regret that the above materials cannot
be made available before the start of tutoring. Remember that Torah and Haftarah portions
are always available in the humash, which may be found in
the Sanctuary.
Each student will receive 24 private lessons
at The Jewish Center over a seven-month period. The tutoring program
is designed to provide supervised practice of skills learned in Religious School
and tropes class. Please bear in mind that the responsibility
for learning the material rests first and foremost with the student to be
supervised by the parent. For the first phase of tutoring,
the student will attend 16 weekly sessions focusing on fluent reading and chanting
of the texts. For the remainder of the training time, approximately two
months, the student will refine the chanting of the text and liturgy with the
Cantor.
The Religious School will notify the B’nai
Mitzvah Coordinator of students identified as having special needs. Those
students will receive special tutoring and may begin lessons earlier than most. Parents
will incur extra fees for any increased number of lessons. If you feel
that your child has special needs that have not been previously identified
to the Religious School, please contact the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator.
Because of time and staffing constraints, we
cannot guarantee that sessions missed (except for illness or emergency) will
be made up. If the date of the event is changed at the family’s
request, tutoring sessions already provided will still count toward the balance
of lessons. Additional lessons covering the replacement material will
be charged separately.
The tutor will call the parent to
arrange a tutoring schedule. The student’s Religious School class
time may not be used for B’nai Mitzvah tutoring. We also
cannot guarantee that tutoring times will be contiguous with Religious School
attendance times.
Parents are invited and encouraged to attend tutoring sessions. Should
there be any concern about the student’s progress, the parents
may request or be asked to observe a tutoring session with the tutor
or the Cantor. This also may be taped to allow the parties to
better evaluate the student’s needs. The B’nai Mitzvah
Coordinator can recommend private tutors for those students whose parents
want them to receive additional tutoring beyond what The Jewish Center
program can provide.
When tutoring begins, the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator will schedule
an appointment with the student’s parent or guardian to discuss
any questions or concerns. This meeting will also cover parental
responsibilities and a more detailed timeline for preparations. We
appreciate, and will keep confidential, any information you can provide
about your child’s learning style and how we can best teach him
or her. In addition, parents and children will meet twice with
Rabbi Tucker to study the assigned parashah together and to
discuss writing a D’var Torah.
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