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*Kippot* *and Birkat Ha-Mazon* booklets** While not required, personalized kippot and Birkat Ha-Mazon (Grace after Meals) booklets printed with the B’nai Mitzvah’s name and celebration date may be provided by the family. Back to Contents *Shabbat* Deliveries Prohibited Shabbat deliveries to The Jewish center are prohibited. All deliveries (flowers, food, etc.) must be made well in advance of sunset and the onset of Shabbat, no later than 3:00 p.m on Friday. Please make sure that all involved (family, guests, caterer, florist and others) are aware of this policy. Back to Contents The Final Rehearsal The final rehearsal will take place in the Sanctuary on an evening during the week preceding the celebration. Please arrange this time directly with the Cantor approximately one month prior to the B’nai Mitzvah date. If you wish to have photographs taken in the Sanctuary setting they must not coincide with the rehearsal but may be done before or after, although never on Shabbat. Please arrange this with the Cantor to avoid scheduling conflicts. The Friday of your B’nai Mitzvah weekend should be a day to finish preparations early, so that the entire family can begin this most special Shabbat in an atmosphere of peace and joy. We know that this occasion will create a lifetime of rich memories for you, your child and your entire family. Back to Contents Additional Important Information Please remember that your Jewish Center fees and dues must be current prior to the beginning of your child’s B’nai Mitzvah preparation. If you have any questions concerning your account, please contact the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator at The Jewish Center office. The Sanctuary provides comfortable seating for approximately 350 guests. Please remember, too, that your guests should remain at all times in the area of the Social Hall, Main Lobby, Parking Lot Lobby, and restrooms. (The Youth Lounge, Library, Beit Midrash, and Choir Room are off limits during the B’nai Mitzvah party unless prior arrangements have been made with the Administrator. These arrangements must be made well in advance of the date of the party.) Do not leave gifts unattended! Ask a friend, your coatroom attendant, or the office staff present during your event to keep the presents in a safe location. If you have a private party at The Jewish Center, we provide an event chaperone on-site in case of emergency, to keep the gifts in a safe place, to make sure the children attending the party are safe, and to answer any questions or concerns that might come up during the party. However, should your guest list include more than 50 children please arrange for a security guard to be in attendance. Arrangements for coatroom attendants and other “party helpers” can be made independently. According to Jewish Center policy, candy throwing is reserved for pre-wedding aufrufs only. It is not permitted during B’nai Mitzvah services. Back to Contents Recommended Books and Resources The entire Jewish Center staff is eager to help you plan and conduct a celebration that will be meaningful and memorable. Do consult with them as often as necessary. There are also a number of books offering guidance in how to plan a B’nai Mitzvah celebration. The following are all available in The Jewish Center Library. Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin, Putting God on the Guest List. Seymour Rossell, The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook-A Spiritual Journey. Alice K. Lanckton, Bar Mitzvah Mother’s Manual (includes a chapter on children with special needs). Rabbi Bradley Artson, It’s a Mitzvah Mildred Brill Schorr, The Ultimate B'nai Mitzvah Handbook: A Planning Guide and Handbook (spiral-bound edition available for $15 at The Jewish Center) A special booklet, B’nai Mitzvah Guide for Families of Divorce, is available upon request from The Jewish Center office. Back to Contents *Timeline for B’nai Mitzvah* planning All dates are approximate. 2 to 2 1/2 years before event Parents of future B’nai Mitzvah candidates meet with Administrative Director, Rabbi Feldman and B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Gila Levin to talk about the B’nai Mitzvah process and discuss details including date and time alternatives and use of The Jewish Center’s facilities. Dates are assigned by the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator 1 year before event** Child begins Tropes class with Cantor Simon Parents attend a general meeting with Rabbi Feldman, Cantor Simon, Rabbi Tucker, Principal Fran Amir, and Gila Levin (B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator) to discuss all aspects of the B’nai Mitzvah Program Discuss with B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator any arrangements involving Jewish Center facilities, including catering criteria Child continues to fulfill requirements to attend Shabbat morning services and classes at The Jewish Center Parents and child participate in the Vav Family B’nai Mitzvah Sunday morning series with Rabbi Feldman and Rabbi Tucker Child meets with Wilma Solomon (e-mail: wilma84@care2.com) to begin Hesed community service project. 7 months before event Child begins tutoring: reading and cantillation of Torah portion and Haftarah (blessings and liturgy may be included) 6 months before event Parent handbook meeting with the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Family meets with Rabbi Tucker to study child’s Parashah 2 months before event Family meets with Rabbi Tucker to discuss writing a D’var Torah Family meets with tutor to evaluate what additional parts of the service the child will lead and to review the child’s progress Child begins tutoring with Cantor Simon Family members who wish to chant a Torah portion must be approved by Cantor Simon 6 weeks before event Child completes Hesed project and finalizes report with Wilma Solomon Child finalizes D’var Torah with Rabbi Tucker 1 month before event Family meets with Rabbi Feldman to discuss the role the family will play in the B’nai Mitzvah and to review the parts the student is doing including the D’var Torah Aliyah/Honors sheet due, complete with Hebrew names Arrange a dress rehearsal with the Cantor Week before event Rehearsal (to be arranged with Cantor) Attend Friday night service; child chants the Kiddush blessing and presents Hesed project report General Requirements Fees and dues must be current Family sponsors congregational Kiddush or Kiddush Luncheon Please familiarize yourself with our rules governing Shabbat at The Jewish Center, as they appear on our decorum card (see para. 29.) Back to Contents Shabbat Etiquette at The Jewish Center The Jewish Center of Princeton welcomes you to our Sabbath (Shabbat) service. To maintain the dignity of Shabbat and the decorum of our services, please note: The morning service starts at 9:45 a.m. The Torah Service with the participation of the B’nai Mitzvah begins at approximately 10:30 a.m. Please enter the Sanctuary quietly. Entering or leaving is not allowed during the Torah service and the sermon. Further, people must not move around the Sanctuary when the congregation is standing. Starting time for the afternoon service is dependent on the time of year. It lasts approximately one hour. If attending with very young children, we encourage them to be in the Sanctuary for the service. If there is a reason for them to take a break feel free to use the babysitting room downstairs or to take your children out for a few minutes. Guests are reminded to dress respectfully and appropriately for worship. Dressing modestly is always recommended at The Jewish Center. Women must have shoulders covered. Suits or jackets, or collared shirts and pants other than jeans, are considered appropriate attire for men and boys. *All males are required to wear a kippah* (head covering)** in the Sanctuary. Jewish men customarily wear a tallit (prayer shawl); one is required when going onto the bimah for an honor. Jewish women may also choose to wear a kippah and/or tallit, and are encouraged to do so. Kippot and tallitot are available in the entrance lobby. Cell phone and telephone use is prohibited anywhere in the synagogue building on Shabbat. Please make transportation arrangements for guests in advance. Photography, video and tape recording and use of any electrical devices are prohibited on Shabbat. They may be used at private parties after waiting one hour after the conclusion of services. Please silence all pagers, electronic watches, and cell phones prior to the beginning of the service. Amplification equipment to assist persons with hearing impairment is available in the Sanctuary. Please ask an usher for assistance. Smoking anywhere on the property, in the building or on the grounds, is prohibited. Thank you for helping us to keep our service, our synagogue, and our tradition meaningful and joyful. Back to Contents Guidance for Guests who will receive an Aliyah Reciting a blessing both before and after we read from the Torah is one of the ways we show our honor for and devotion to it. The act of coming to the Torah and reciting the blessings is called aliyah, which means “going up,” for we go up to the bimah (platform) to do so. To be called for an aliyah is considered a great honor. On Shabbat the reading of the Torah is divided into seven portions, each of at least three verses. The person who receives the aliyah may also read the text of that portion from the Torah scroll, or there may be a designated reader. If two or three people are called to the Torah to share one aliyah, they may recite the blessings together or may divide them--before and after. There can be no more than three people called to the Torah at one time. All men called for an aliyah are required to wear a tallit. Women called are encouraged to wear one. Those honored with an aliyah will be called both by their Hebrew and English names. They come onto the bimah by way of the set of side stairs closest to them and stand on the reader’s right. There will be an assistant on the bimah to guide you, but please familiarize yourself with the following procedure for recitation. 1. Touch a fringe of the tallit (one of the long tzitzit) to the place indicated in the Torah scroll where the reading is to begin, then kiss the fringe. (This indicates respect for the words.) If you do not wear a tallit, use the prayerbook or Torah belt for this act. 2. Grasp both handles of the scroll and hold them while you recite the blessing before the reading (see Appendix). After the portion is read, grasp the handles again and recite the blessing after the reading (see preceding page). If two people are called, each should grasp one handle. The act of holding fast to the handles while saying the blessings is derived from Proverbs 3:18: “It is a tree of life to those who hold fast to it.” 3. When you have completed the second blessing (see Appendix), move to stand on the reader’s left. Remain on the bimah through the next Torah portion and blessing after the reading. Then return to your seat. It is customary to leave the bimah by the steps opposite to those by which you came up. Back to Contents